Wednesday - Friday

I was really looking forward to PT on Wednesday as I had not been out of the hospital bed since preop the day before and I was anxious to see if my mobility decreased, increased or remained the same.  They brought me a walker and I then walked out of the room and into the hallway.  I felt so good I thought I could use the restroom but while I was in there I started to feel light headed and queasy and they quickly moved me back to the bed.  The queasiness was a side effect of the pain medication and I felt it come and go throughout my stay.  Despite the queasiness I was ready to move to a new room, but just before I was moved a giant unicorn balloon was delivered from my oldest and dearest.  It delighted and surprised all of the staff and as they moved me to the new room, the nurses argued over who got to move the unicorn balloon.  We barely fit in an elevator but we giddily made our way.  To my happy surprise I was moved into a room with a view (and one of the rooms I had seen on TikTok).  Part of the hospital is built over FDR Drive, and my room was above it so I could see the cars driving underneath, the East River, Roosevelt Island and Astoria.  The traffic never stops on FDR Drive.  My roommate was being checked out, and I had another roommate come in that evening, but I had a few hours to myself and took advantage of the time to Facetime home.  My doctors came by to check on me including the doctor who ordered the echocardiogram before the surgery so I was able to confirm it came out clear and nothing was wrong.  

The last time I was in the hospital was when I had M and B was able to stay with me the entire time.  That was not the case this time; I had roommates and visiting hours were from 8 am - 8 pm so B had to stay in a hotel, the last night even switching hotels as the hospital hotel was full.  Which ended up being ok despite the small fortune we spent.  When B wasn't at the hospital he was walking all over the UES and partaking from the food trucks along the way.  He even got to see Manhattanhenge one evening!  And while I thought I would be jealous of  his outings, I looked forward to hearing about them and seeing his pictures.

The nights were the hardest part of being in the hospital, everything slows down dramatically after dinner and it's difficult to sleep but you feel obligated to be quiet and still so you don't disrupt your roommate.  I wish I had remembered earbuds as I could have watched Netflix on my phone, but once it turned 5 I felt like it was an acceptable time to turn the TV on.  The last night I was there someone in another room fell and screamed for help, I was half asleep when it happened and hearing someone scream my first instinct was to go help, but I couldn't.  I felt awful for the person, and it was a lesson to me to be smart about my recovery and slow.

Thursday brought a whisper that I may be discharged that day and also my favorite nurse of the stay.  My doctor said I was ready to be discharged but we were waiting on getting a wheelchair for the train.  The ok to be discharged did not come until after lunch but without a wheelchair so we knew we would be getting into the DC area late at night without Red Cap assistance available.  B and I were both nervous about that so we opted to stay another night in hopes we would get a wheelchair before discharge or be discharged early enough to make it home safely without a wheelchair.  Thankfully the  wheelchair arrived Friday morning and B was quick to put it together then zip me around the halls.  It made travelling home so much easier as I didn't have to worry about falling if I got queasy or light headed and it helped hold all of our belongings.

Leaving the hospital was a baptism by fire...my favorite nurse walked us down to catch a taxi and it seemed like everyone was leaving the hospital at the same time and for the first time I was to get in a taxi while in a wheelchair.  Riding in a NYC taxi can be wild, loud and unpredictable, and I was terrified of the thought of rolling and halting all over the back of a taxi with my neck jostling around.  Thankfully this did not happen, our driver was professional, thoughtful, and drove slowly and gently.    After that experience I knew going out at home would be just fine.  Red Cap was great getting us on the train and we were able to get Red Cap on the other side too.  As we were getting in the car and trying to figure out how to collapse a wheelchair it started to storm, but we didn't care as we were an hour away from M and our home.  

Home sweet home, we made it home around 7 or 8, M and my parents were watching TV and it was a happy reunion.  B helped me change into a nightgown, get situated and I had a shower to look forward to the next day.  Everything felt wonderful, the quiet, the air, the comfort of my home and being with the people I love the most...should you ever find yourself at the hospital, half awake, not feeling well, and bored in the middle of the night, just know one day you will go home and it will all be well worth it.

Tuesday, day of surgery

I remember waking up that morning and feeling slightly sleepy and reminding myself I was about to take a very strong induced nap.  I showered not knowing when my next "real" shower would be and drank lots of water so my veins were big and juicy for the IVs.

We got to the hospital bright and early and joined the group of individuals who were also having surgery.  There was some confusion  as they were asking people to line up in the order that they arrived to check in, I did not have any sense of urgency and knew I would be seen eventually.

After you check in by the lobby they send you upstairs to pre surgery check in.  They told B how they would be communicating with him throughout the day and a general timeline of what to expect.  The lobby is beautiful and has floor to ceiling windows overlooking the East River.  We watched the sunrise and took pictures.  Not long they called my name and I went back to preop, at this point I realized B was wearing a 7-11 shirt on July 11th - the shirt is bananas and it reminded me of two other times we had to go to the hospital and he was wearing something questionable.  He looked up Yelp reviews for the 7-11s in NYC and read the reviews to make me laugh.  

Eventually my surgical team came in one by one and each of them brought great energy and confidence.  B and I both felt good going into it and the next thing I knew I said goodbye to B and was wheeled into the OR.  The OR had an energy of a team getting ready for a game, everyone was busy and focused on their role.  I was surprised at the size of the room, it was quite big and each wall I could see had a flat screen with my chart pulled up on it.  So that was kind of funny seeing my profile picture on the walls.  Someone began to ask me about where I was from and my family, and that's the last thing I remember.  When I woke up I immediately asked if it was still July 11th as there was a possibility they may have to intubate me overnight and thankfully it was still July 11th :)  One of the anesthesiologists said he would play Harry Styles for me before the surgery and I said something about how I never got to listen to Harry.  

In that moment I felt fantastic, I was alive and I could move my legs.  I began texting everyone that I made it and then B joined me.  I was also really hot, when I came to I had sweat running down my face and they brought me a cooling unit which I kept blowing directly on my face.  After the surgery you still feel the spinal block so I did not have any pain or discomfort until later that night but it was manageable.  That night I stayed in a step down unit and B went back to the hotel.  

Staying in a hospital you just have to set your expectations that you will not sleep well and you will be uncomfortable.  Throughout the day and night they are constantly monitoring you and administering medications, and waking you up to do so, it is what it is.  When I woke up from surgery I was in a neck brace and unable to move my body in the ways that I was used to.  I couldn't twist or shift my weight and I was constantly asking to be repositioned in the bed.  Plus the bed just wasn't made for my body, the rails on either side were barely within my reach and I needed a stool to get on and off of it.  The nurses were great in helping me get comfortable and keeping the fan on my face.  Despite being uncomfortable and hot I was so thankful to be alive and ready for PT and the chance to walk the next day.  I remember cracking a joke to B that night and he said "There she is, there's Heather, you must be feeling better."  The clouds were starting to clear finally.