Recovery

I meant to continue writing throughout my recovery but to my surprise time flew by.  Recently someone said to me "I can't believe it has been 2 months since your surgery but I'm sure it has felt like forever for you."  Truly it hasn't and for that I'm thankful.  

Sleep

In the beginning sleep was difficult as I was only able to sleep on my back with the neck brace so I was often getting up in the night because I needed to change positions.  I was sleeping in chunks rather than a span which lead to sleeping during the day, and I was ok with that :)  At first I slept on the couch as it is lower to the ground, but then I moved back into the bed and slept with a foam wedge as my pillow.  I tried to wear my CPAP the first few nights but then I gave up, it was too much on my face with the brace and B said I looked like a fighter pilot.  

Now that the neck brace is off I am able to sleep on my side again which is wonderful.  I'm still getting used to switching from one side to the other as the flexibility in my neck is limited but it's definitely better.  I need to start using my CPAP again :/

Flexibility

My flexibility and range of motion has improved a lot since coming home.  I was able to do most things independently when I got home, but things were more difficult and took longer.  Surprisingly it felt as if the fusion was horizontal across my shoulders instead of vertically down my neck and back, and I was unable to twist, bend, or lean easily.  Taking pants on and off seemed to take ages, so for the first month I wore nightgowns around the house.  

I required a straw for all of my drinks and couldn't bend my head back.  I'm able to drink without one now but I still can't get the last little bit out of a LaCroix.

It felt like I lost a lot of upper body strength after the surgery, something that I had built up before it with PT and needed now more than ever.  All the different ways I repositioned myself took a lot more work and sometimes I would use my cane for leverage to push up or out of a position.  

Appetite

My appetite in the beginning was specific and bland (chicken and bread).  I continued pain medication for a week after being discharged and once I stopped my appetite started to slowly come back.  I actually lost weight that I've kept off so I'm not mad about that :)

Mobility

I am able to navigate our home independently, but use my cane for errands and shopping.  I use my walker when walking M to the bus stop and I've used it on all of our follow up trips to NYC.  The surgery was never about fixing my mobility but preserving what I had, and it has done that.  In some ways using the walker has been a comfort to me as it does help me walk more than I could without it and people notice it and move more carefully around me and have more patience with me.  When I go up in October I'll ask about continuing to use it...I don't want to overly depend on it but maybe it's fine and it is all in my head.  

Mental Health

I feel like since I woke up from surgery...and it may sound cliché...but it felt like a second chance at life.  The crying has stopped, I still cry when appropriate or at a sad ending, but I don't cry when thinking about my health or my future, everything feels manageable.  A few people have said that something in me has returned or that the old H is back or as my Mom kindly says "you're blossoming!"  I feel lighter and clearer headed, nothing seems like that big of a deal and giving grace is easy.

Next Steps

I've had two follow up appointments since the surgery and everything looks good.  The doctor wants me to think about my thoracic and although he said he is in no rush, he has a quicker timeline than the one I presented to him :)  Going into another surgery doesn't seem as scary or daunting as before, but I do want a little bit of time for us to shift our focus away from surgery and NYC and focus on some family fun.  Even as my leave dwindles down I'm looking forward to returning to work.  Next up for this blog are things that surprised me and things I bought to help me during recovery.  Thanks for reading and your support.