Style

One of the things that hit me the hardest with the changes in mobility was losing my sense of style.  

I think I have always been low maintenance stylish....  I don't blow dry my hair, care about brands, and have a very basic skin care routine.  But I have always loved clothes, lip gloss, and earrings and prior to 2022 I would most often be found in a dress.  

Once I started to lose my balance more easily and stumble I switched from ballet flats (I stopped wearing heels when I worked in Old Town) to New Balances which also meant no more dresses.  Although M's generation can pair dresses and athletic shoes flawlessly it doesn't work for me.  And that was a hard transition, I didn't realize how much pride I took in always being a little dressed up and now I found myself feeling dressed down.  

6 months after the surgery I struggled even more as my hair began to fall out at an alarming rate which is common after receiving so much anesthesia.  I love my hair, when I was born it had an auburn tint to it and later darkened to brown which made me find something to physically identify with my Dad and Grandma.  My Dad had red hair when he was young that darkened to auburn, and at 78 he has more auburn hair than gray.  My Grandma had red hair her whole life and when she passed her hair was still red, almost the color of salmon with the silver mixed in.  I also had a lot of hair which is how I fell into the habit of not blow drying it, it would take too long to blow dry so until I got out of college I took a shower before bed so my hair would be dry in the morning.  When I had M I lost some of it, but it was nothing compared to what I was seeing after surgery.  So 6 months post op, after the joy of success was wearing off and I was returning to in person work more I felt so unattractive and sad in athletic shoes and thin hair.

And I gave up for awhile.  

But then I had some occasions where I wanted to feel more stylish and I saw some regrowth in my hair and I started to feel a bit better with an all black outfit and cut my hair to give it more volume as it hopefully returned.

Recently I had my nails done on a whim, and I told the technician I did not want gels, it had been over 10 years since I had my nails done, I can't keep up with gels...and 3 weeks later I discovered she gave me gels.  So on my birthday I made an appointment at my beauty shop to get the gels taken off and get a basic manicure.  I discovered in those 3 weeks having my nails done did make me feel better, so I let her talk me into getting gels again and maybe this little treat of self care could become a monthly treat.  I also let her talk me into getting my eyebrows waxed and goodness she did a wonderful job.  While the hair on my scalp was thinning my eyebrows held on for dear life, so the shaping and tidying did wonders.  

I'm trying to incorporate more color into my outfits when I feel like it, especially my beloved pink.  And as I approach Surgery Deux I will go into it with my nails done (maybe toes too, baby steps), eyebrows shaped, and hair cut so when everything else feels out of control and a shower isn't immediate at least I'll have that 😌